Israel isn't really apologetic; its public "apology" is simply a political move, and is empty rhetoric slapping the face of VP Biden and his visit, as well as a larger response to the Obama administration's subtle movement away from blanket Israeli support in the region. Basically, Israel told the US to shut the hell up, they'll build wherever and whenever they feel like putting down a foundation.

Given the volatility of the region, the certain violence that will follow when construction actually begins, and the swagger of Israel in the face of widespread demonization of the decision, lends the small sandy island of a nation a certain je ne sais quoi, a heady disregard of protocol and direct contravention of assigned roles by powerful nations and leaders on the world scene.

In other words, Israel's flagrant puffery is a clear sign that even as tensions and allegiances shift in the Middle East, one can always count on imperialistic attitudes to direct the policies and decisions of embattled countries. For that Israel deserves a hand and has earned our Imperialist of the Week award.

What baffles me is why Jews of all stripes wear yarmulkes.

The children of Israel in this country aren't particularly devout, if my personal interactions and pop culture (Sarah Silverman, Seth Rogen) are any indication. You can tell the ones who are - the men wear those hats that look like felt-covered Wolfgang Puck plates, grow beards that only squeaky teenage boys envy, and rock back and forth like they're trying too hard to honor an Asian businessman. It's certainly a way to set themselves apart, as no woman in her right mind would be attracted to a man in this getup in and of itself.

That's the point of religious garb and grooming, right? It doesn't have to be ostentacious - wearing a small cross, shaving your balls, or for evangelical pastors, donning a golf tie for your sermon. Even for gaudy garb, there's a connection between the apparel and the attitude - Muslim women cover their heads to protect their purity, and black megachurch pastors wear gold crosses that can be seen from space to protect them from the FBI and IRS.

It's really hard to miss a yarmulke, which at first glance looks like a baseball cap that shrunk in the wash. Yet you can't slap on one to hide your bad hair day, a key selling point for turbans and mitres, and those I see most often, held in place by barrettes that scream tween girl, are boringly black. They are meant to be seen and yet to say nothing - yarmulkes no more suggest your values than wearing a beret, the crown of useless hats, suggests you advise Afghan military commanders.

There are a couple explanations for this phenomenon of quasi-religious people wearing the proper attire, as opposed to pot-smoking Yalies wearing Rasta hats. Either the yarmulke is a magic force field, akin to wearing tin foil, that keeps God's wrath away from the casual Jew, or the yarmulke shows a respect for Judaism and its culture (and a modicum of morality for the tax-evading mistress-keeper) without committing oneself to, you know, believing in Yahweh. It tells the world, especially that part of Northwest Washington, D.C. that I inhabit, "I come from hearty stock whose moral code pioneered the concepts of minority rights and debt forgiveness. Hey, quit hogging the blow."

For all you disobedient children of Abraham, wear your skullcaps proudly. Like a paper bag around a fifth of cheap whiskey, it gives the rest of us hope that there's really something else under there.