Cultural Imperialist

Who Should Pay for Bums’ Carpal Tunnel?

February 3, 2010

As cities face record budget shortfalls and public employee unions collectively bellow "why are you looking at me?" there's another looming crisis on the horizon: Bums getting carpal-tunnel syndrome and suing. Read On

Hat Trick: Casual Jews and Skullcaps

January 31, 2010

I expect a certain percentage of religious people to wear something identifying their beliefs in public. This is commendable in our pluralistic society, and practically an outgrowth of the First Amendment, which certainly lets us wear what we want if it lets us have sex on camera for money. What baffles me is why Jews of all stripes wear yarmulkes. Read On

Ax to Grind: Two Guitars Are Plenty

January 18, 2010

I had a fancy dinner in New York recently, a chili-smoked hanger steak at a Thai fusion restaurant. But it was buried under such a thick crust of spices, like a Port-au-Prince shopkeeper, that the steak was barely perceptible. You know the musical equivalent? Including a third, fourth, or Jimi help us, fifth guitarist in a band. Read On

Auto-Tuning Ourselves To Death

December 15, 2009

Oh Auto-Tune. Once you were an interesting idea. But like all human endeavors, you were quickly appropriated for nefarious banality. Our ears need relief. Read On

All non- “Pepper” Sodas: Hands off the Doc

February 27, 2009

Yeah, I see you, Dr. Pop. Don't try to hide, Dr. Thunder. Wake me up before you go-go, Dr. Wham. You are infringing on the good name of Dr. Pepper, and those mincing pansies at the Patent and Trademark Office won't save you from my righteous wrath. Read On