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Cultural Imperialist
"Scathing Spats on Shallow Subjects"
Fri Jul 30
2010
The Culturer
Balls to That: The Amoral Tyranny of Soccer
Soccer, or football, as the brownskins and limeys call it, is a full-throated attack on American exceptionalism, and if I ran U.S. Africa Command, Johannesburg would have been liberated before the first vuvuzela blew. Read On
Gaga has sold herself as the hippest and most counter-revolutionary of all artist, a fame monster unequaled in genius or industry savvy. But underneath is a scared cowgirl. Read On
I'm starting to see more men with the "Luke Wilson as troubled tennis star Richie Tenenbaum" look; it is not the look of a man. It is the future suicide of Western masculinity. Read On
Tag, You’re the Sh–: The Importance of Moral Shirtainty
Call me a strict apparelist, but I believe society crumbles when we vainly decide to cut the tags. That's not just your neck itching - it's your conscience calling. Read On
Sports Mascot Mess – An Ethnic Quandary
A new Wisconsin bill threatens to put the kibosh on Native American sports mascots. But where does it end? Read On
Frozen Yogurt: Hell Frozen Over
Is Frozen Yogurt in fact the Devil? And the answer is, of course, possibly. Frozen yogurt is, however, universally the most pretentious and therefore useless dessert. Read On
Imagine running around in your pajamas all day, eating nuts and climbing trees. I'm not hearkening back to your childhood in Eugene, Oregon - that's what squirrels do. And it's groin-grabbingly adorable. Read On
The world is a smorgasbord of hotties. But for men who are firmly entrenched in a relationship, is it morally acceptable to scope out the cuties? Read On
9/11 Novelists Need To Move On
How many post-9/11 novels about American fears, genuine attempts to map the psychology of a nation under Cheney and terror, and colloquial moments of self-congratulatory introspection and assessment of our own fallen status do we need? Read On
Who Should Pay for Bums’ Carpal Tunnel?
As cities face record budget shortfalls and public employee unions collectively bellow "why are you looking at me?" there's another looming crisis on the horizon: Bums getting carpal-tunnel syndrome and suing. Read On
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