Cultural Imperialist

"Scathing Spats on Shallow Subjects"

Wed Mar 10

 

2010

Quickies

Wide Load: The Scourge of Sideblocking

February 9, 2010

Your group stroll needn't hog the public walking space. Pretending to be oblivious to oncoming pedestrian traffic is just as onerous as writing a false memoir. Walk single-file, or else. Read On

Hat Trick: Casual Jews and Skullcaps

January 31, 2010

I expect a certain percentage of religious people to wear something identifying their beliefs in public. This is commendable in our pluralistic society, and practically an outgrowth of the First Amendment, which certainly lets us wear what we want if it lets us have sex on camera for money. What baffles me is why Jews of all stripes wear yarmulkes. Read On

What’s Wrong With Ad Hominem?

January 27, 2010

The world's already a nuclear dirty bomb away from chaos, destruction, and the loss of basic freedoms. Given the shabby state of the world, don't we owe it to ourselves to reduce arguments to their simplest, most entertaining form, hashing out our differences by calling each other names and harboring little regard for substantive issues? Read On

Ax to Grind: Two Guitars Are Plenty

January 18, 2010

I had a fancy dinner in New York recently, a chili-smoked hanger steak at a Thai fusion restaurant. But it was buried under such a thick crust of spices, like a Port-au-Prince shopkeeper, that the steak was barely perceptible. You know the musical equivalent? Including a third, fourth, or Jimi help us, fifth guitarist in a band. Read On

Snow to Hell

January 8, 2010

You and me, snow. Outside. Read On

Interracial Couples Aren’t *That* Happy

January 3, 2010

The surest way to get someone to spend on your product or cause is slapping a broad cross-section of humanity on a billboard. Often this means a roughly equal balance of men and women, white, black, Hispanic, Asian, Arab and Persian, unless UN sanctions stretch over to modeling. But you know what's even harder to swallow? Interracial bliss. Read On

Auto-Tuning Ourselves To Death

December 15, 2009

Oh Auto-Tune. Once you were an interesting idea. But like all human endeavors, you were quickly appropriated for nefarious banality. Our ears need relief. Read On

Women Should Always Get Blown

December 14, 2009

Think back to the most attractive woman you ever saw, in real life or a photo. Chances are her hair was swept back by wind, a fan or slipping on an icy sidewalk and flying backwards, breaking her coccyx but looking great. Read On

Spinning: Stop Stalin and Get a Life

October 24, 2009

Indoor cycling is for brownshirts. Read On

The Bed Head Look: Shoot It, Stuff It, Put It in the Attic

September 29, 2009

The Bed Head look is lamer than a bag of cocks at a lesbian cookout. Be a real independent thinker and actually comb your hair. Read On