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Cultural Imperialist
"Scathing Spats on Shallow Subjects"
Sat Sep 4
2010
Quickies
Up, “Chuck”: This Heaven’s Not a Home without Zachary Levi
Greg Piper has a theological man-crush on Zachary Levi. Read On
“Big” Love: Why aren’t we outraged by Tom Hanks’ underage sex?
It hit me in the shower today: Tom Hanks was 13 years old when he had sex with Elizabeth Perkins. Why aren't we more upset? Read On
I Inject! The Solution to Rowdy Concerts
Raging dancers with no sense of space need to be deterred. Here's a revolutionary (and viral) means of dispatching these cretins. Read On
The “Yada” Sisterhood: Gibberish Ruining Abbreviated Sentences
A whole generation, largely female, is shortening their anecdotes with gibberish. Read On
Elevators with reflective interiors are the most sinful conveyances on the planet, worse than Humvees, pleasure yachts, and Sandra Bullock's private emotional roller coaster. Read On
Community-Supported Agitprop: Box Those Vegecrats
The Band of Brothers didn't die so you could resurrect the Soviet breadline in Marin County. Community Supported Agriculture leaves a rotten taste in Greg's mouth. Read On
Millions of people wasted their lives and a ton of dough thinking college was going to be, for them, the next stage of their personal evolution, the stepladder to success. They were wrong. Read On
I know that a photo preggers au naturel is supposed to be empowering, but if we can leave those prints on the cutting room floor, it'd be a relief. Read On
Escalosers: Move Fast, Lose Your Ass
By refusing to accelerate your journey up to and down from ground level, this city's professional class views you, the Escaloser, as just another clan of flyover flunkies that we have to bail out. Read On
Senior Stranger Advice Is Inadvisable
Elderly people have been giving advice ever since the first man and woman grew old and saw whippersnappers who needed the benefit of their experience. But there need to be a statute of limitations on these sage provocateurs. Read On
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