Cultural Imperialist

Abolish Express Lane Abuse

February 8, 2010

I've watched you--all of you--ineligible bachelors, harried mothers, old Chinese women, busty Latinas, even guys who look homeless--and you all have abused the honor system by passing more than the designated number of items through the express line. Congratulations, you're a douche. Read On

Flex On This, Flexitarians

January 17, 2010

Have you heard of this new fad for foodies that says you can be both a vegetarian AND a meat-eater? If you subscribe to this theory, you are called Flexitarian. Or as I like to see it, a Douche. Read On

Hipster Gyrations Don’t Equal Dancing

August 6, 2009

It's time to put an end to this spasmodic bullspit you hipster wackjobs call dancing. Read On