Cultural Imperialist

"Scathing Spats on Shallow Subjects"

Fri Jul 30

 

2010

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Tag, You’re the Sh–: The Importance of Moral Shirtainty

June 8, 2010

Call me a strict apparelist, but I believe society crumbles when we vainly decide to cut the tags. That's not just your neck itching - it's your conscience calling. Read On

ImperialMitt: Why We Love Romney

March 8, 2010

Mitt Romney may be the greatest denigrator of The Non-American Way since P.J. O'Rourke's brilliantly offensive "Foreigners of the World" study for National Lampoon. Read On

Interracial Couples Aren’t *That* Happy

January 3, 2010

The surest way to get someone to spend on your product or cause is slapping a broad cross-section of humanity on a billboard. Often this means a roughly equal balance of men and women, white, black, Hispanic, Asian, Arab and Persian, unless UN sanctions stretch over to modeling. But you know what's even harder to swallow? Interracial bliss. Read On

The Bed Head Look: Shoot It, Stuff It, Put It in the Attic

September 29, 2009

The Bed Head look is lamer than a bag of cocks at a lesbian cookout. Be a real independent thinker and actually comb your hair. Read On

Libertarians: Stop Trying So Hard

September 28, 2009

Sinning makes you cool, we get it. Read On

Hey Kids: Enough With the Beatles Shirts

August 6, 2009

If you can't buy a band's music on iTunes, that's a pretty good sign that you, as a member of Generation Whine, shouldn't be listening to them. Read On

Fruity Metaphors Have Got to Stop

July 24, 2009

We are surrounded by fruit, and something has got to be done about it. Read On

All non- “Pepper” Sodas: Hands off the Doc

February 27, 2009

Yeah, I see you, Dr. Pop. Don't try to hide, Dr. Thunder. Wake me up before you go-go, Dr. Wham. You are infringing on the good name of Dr. Pepper, and those mincing pansies at the Patent and Trademark Office won't save you from my righteous wrath. Read On

Bill Paxton Is Not Bill Pullman

January 15, 2009

Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman. Two iconic American actors. But are they the same person? We sat down with the Bills to talk about the frustrations of sharing the limelight with each other, even when it's only accidental. Read On

Recent Comments:

I’m aware of the Doc’s...

Greg Piper on All non- “Pepper” Sodas: Hands off the Doc

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I just realized you meant to...

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Christian Death Metal: Oxymoronic or Truth Colonic? cited at Moronic or truth colonic? « I Think I Believe