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Cultural Imperialist
"Scathing Spats on Shallow Subjects"
Fri Jul 30
2010
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Tag, You’re the Sh–: The Importance of Moral Shirtainty
Call me a strict apparelist, but I believe society crumbles when we vainly decide to cut the tags. That's not just your neck itching - it's your conscience calling. Read On
ImperialMitt: Why We Love Romney
Mitt Romney may be the greatest denigrator of The Non-American Way since P.J. O'Rourke's brilliantly offensive "Foreigners of the World" study for National Lampoon. Read On
Interracial Couples Aren’t *That* Happy
The surest way to get someone to spend on your product or cause is slapping a broad cross-section of humanity on a billboard. Often this means a roughly equal balance of men and women, white, black, Hispanic, Asian, Arab and Persian, unless UN sanctions stretch over to modeling. But you know what's even harder to swallow? Interracial bliss. Read On
The Bed Head Look: Shoot It, Stuff It, Put It in the Attic
The Bed Head look is lamer than a bag of cocks at a lesbian cookout. Be a real independent thinker and actually comb your hair. Read On
Hey Kids: Enough With the Beatles Shirts
If you can't buy a band's music on iTunes, that's a pretty good sign that you, as a member of Generation Whine, shouldn't be listening to them. Read On
Fruity Metaphors Have Got to Stop
We are surrounded by fruit, and something has got to be done about it. Read On
All non- “Pepper” Sodas: Hands off the Doc
Yeah, I see you, Dr. Pop. Don't try to hide, Dr. Thunder. Wake me up before you go-go, Dr. Wham. You are infringing on the good name of Dr. Pepper, and those mincing pansies at the Patent and Trademark Office won't save you from my righteous wrath. Read On
Bill Paxton Is Not Bill Pullman
Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman. Two iconic American actors. But are they the same person? We sat down with the Bills to talk about the frustrations of sharing the limelight with each other, even when it's only accidental. Read On
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