Cultural Imperialist

"Scathing Spats on Shallow Subjects"


Fri Jul 28




Solid as Barack: The Conquest of Health Care

Anyone who reorganizes one-sixth of the American economy with a ridiculously ornate stroke of the pen deserves to be our Imperialist of the Week.

President Barack Obama ignored naysayers who said he should focus on a health care bill limited to popular changes, like ending the ban for pre-existing conditions, keeping losers who still live at home on their parents' plans until 26, and making sure my doctor doesn't get paid for unnecessary colonoscopies.  He went for broke, literally in the case of states who are going to have to pick up much more of the Medicaid tab.  Imperialists have long been applauded for benighted policies that their subjects end up paying for.

By threatening to withhold his healing presence from their re-election campaigns, and tricking Democrats in the boonies into thinking executive orders can override statutory law, Obama showed his familiarity with Machiavelli's delicate balance between fear and hatred, and the "illusion of being reliable in keeping his word."

Only a leader truly contemptuous of another government's sovereignty would say the Commerce Clause gives the federal government the right to force people to buy something.  And by slapping a tax on tanning beds, Obama showed discrimination against differently-pigmented minorities and those with alternative lifestyles, as imperialists throughout history have done.

Most of all, the president's willingness to sacrifice his House to save his own political skin puts him in the league of the most famous truth-parsers.  And he will almost certainly survive, thrive and connive his way to a second term.  Congratulations, Mr. Obama - your crushing approach to governance means we're totally crushing on you.

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