Cultural Imperialist

"Scathing Spats on Shallow Subjects"

 

Fri May 26

 

2017

 
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Taco Shell Bowls: More Important Than Oslo

Taco Shell Bowls: More Important Than OsloOne of the most serious fights I ever had with my girlfriend was over whether I should buy that set of two taco-shell bowl pans at Bed Bath & Beyond for $12. "That's the stupidest thing you could buy. You'll never use them," she yelled as I protested, "Oh, I'll use them!"

And as usual, I was right. Making my own taco shell bowls with store-bought tortillas has proven a regular delight in my kitchen, like an unholy amalgamation of a koi pond, sand garden and Gold Bond on your groin's own taco shell bowl (which I've only heard described by guys in my dorm). You can throw leftover steak, black beans, cheese and salsa in your homemade bowl, and if you're feeling especially presidential, put some arugula in the bottom to technically make it a salad. Anything could be improved in a taco shell bowl - sliced-up donuts, peanut butter and jelly, or duck pate. Breadbowls don't give you the satisfying crunch of a taco shell, and they are higher in calories.

And in these crazy mixed-up times of unemployment and illegal Mexican immigrant cartoons on cable, we can all benefit from hearkening back to our childhoods eating taco shell bowls at Taco Bell and Shell Shack and other restaurant names I could invent. Dare I say, taco shell bowls are our moon landing if the world gathered under the aegis of the U.N. to conquer space. Bruno couldn't unite Jews and Palestinians around hummus, but taco shell bowls are filled with the smoky, gooey hope of peace in our lifetime.

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