Cultural Imperialist

"Scathing Spats on Shallow Subjects"

 

Mon Oct 20

 

2014

 
Tuna Half-Men: Let’s ‘Flip’ the Dolphin PR Assault

Tuna Half-Men: Let’s ‘Flip’ the Dolphin PR Assault

He's played a kindly convict, Nelson Mandela and even a mop-pushing God. On the other hand, the world was obliterated by a read on

 Listen, Douche

Running In Place Is A Tool’s Exercise

You come to an intersection but instead of stopping, you keep running in place. Wow, you’re such a douche.

The Half-Assed Turn Is Full-On Jerk

Drivers who are turning but refuse to occupy the entirety of the turn lane are a douchey menace to society.

Abolish Express Lane Abuse

I’ve watched you–all of you abuse the honor system by passing more than the designated number of items through the express line. Congratulations, you’re a douche.

What's Next
Death May Be Forever, But At Least It’s Consistent
 Quickies

The Postman Always Weighs Twice (as much you)

I have noticed an increase in the girth of my local post- men and women, their biomass in… read on

Vagazzled!

Don’t ask me how I ran across (or acrost as they say in my old neighborhood of Redneckia)… read on

The Jeg is Up

There are certain things a culture can do to obliterate itself on the relevance scale.… read on

Sacrificial Ma’am

Time was, you could call a woman ma’am without her getting offended. Just because that… read on

Up, “Chuck”: This Heaven’s Not a Home without Zachary Levi

The season premiere of “Chuck” is three weeks away, and like any 13-year-old girl in a c… read on

“Big” Love: Why aren’t we outraged by Tom Hanks’ underage sex?

It hit me in the shower today: Tom Hanks was 13 years old when he had sex with Elizabeth Pe… read on

I Inject! The Solution to Rowdy Concerts

Every concert has a Designated A–hole, whose job it is to solipsize himself and dance… read on