Cultural Imperialist

"Scathing Spats on Shallow Subjects"


Mon Aug 21



Tuna Half-Men: Let’s ‘Flip’ the Dolphin PR Assault

Tuna Half-Men: Let’s ‘Flip’ the Dolphin PR Assault

He's played a kindly convict, Nelson Mandela and even a mop-pushing God. On the other hand, the world was obliterated by a read on

 Listen, Douche

Running In Place Is A Tool’s Exercise

You come to an intersection but instead of stopping, you keep running in place. Wow, you're such a douche.

The Half-Assed Turn Is Full-On Jerk

Drivers who are turning but refuse to occupy the entirety of the turn lane are a douchey menace to society.

Abolish Express Lane Abuse

I've watched you--all of you abuse the honor system by passing more than the designated number of items through the express line. Congratulations, you're a douche.
What's Next
Death May Be Forever, But At Least It’s Consistent

The Postman Always Weighs Twice (as much you)

I have noticed an increase in the girth of my local post- men and women, their biomass in… read on


Don't ask me how I ran across (or acrost as they say in my old neighborhood of Redneckia)… read on

The Jeg is Up

There are certain things a culture can do to obliterate itself on the relevance scale.… read on

Sacrificial Ma’am

Time was, you could call a woman ma'am without her getting offended. Just because that… read on

Up, “Chuck”: This Heaven’s Not a Home without Zachary Levi

The season premiere of "Chuck" is three weeks away, and like any 13-year-old girl in a c… read on

“Big” Love: Why aren’t we outraged by Tom Hanks’ underage sex?

It hit me in the shower today: Tom Hanks was 13 years old when he had sex with Elizabeth Pe… read on

I Inject! The Solution to Rowdy Concerts

Every concert has a Designated A--hole, whose job it is to solipsize himself and dance… read on